How many times as parents do we question ourselves? We obsess over just how to present things in a light that not only will be understood, but also remembered during the times when our advice will be useful. We try to instill our beliefs into minds so flexible that there really isn't any sure way to know if our lesson took hold until the moment they need to act on it. We just have to have faith that our child listened to us, then we turn them loose to prove us right. That is harder than it sounds sometimes. I mean, let's face it. Most of the time we think we've just given a rock star explanation as to why it's wrong to steal, until we ask the kid if he understands and he hits you with "I think so. It's like when the dinosaurs were real, right?".
.... Sure. Now go play while mommy screams into a pillow.
Every once in awhile however, our faith is rewarded with an epic parenting event that leaves us with a lasting feeling of security. We tell ourselves that we are doing fine, and what's more- so is our child. Then we all heave a great big sigh of relief and go back to day to day survival.
.... Sure. Now go play while mommy screams into a pillow.
Every once in awhile however, our faith is rewarded with an epic parenting event that leaves us with a lasting feeling of security. We tell ourselves that we are doing fine, and what's more- so is our child. Then we all heave a great big sigh of relief and go back to day to day survival.
Yesterday we had one of those life affirming parenting moments, and it just so happened that we were picking out tomatoes in the produce section of Wal-Mart.
A few aisles earlier in the shopping trip, Jack showed us that he is listening to our lessons. He is not only listening, he's making those lessons a part of his daily life. An older woman reached for a jar of mayonnaise and in her haste she knocked 3 of the surrounding jars to the floor. I saw the look on her face as she pictured herself bending down to restock the shelves. It was full of pain and exhaustion, her shoulders slumped as she sighed. Jack saw it too and rushed to her side to say "Don't worry! I will pick it up!" and proceeded to do just that. Jordan and I stood by with giant goofy grins on our smitten faces. Man, we love that kid!
Later, while in the produce section, Jack and I were on one side of the chest high display of vegetables when he said something so wonderful that I immediately told him to go around the divider to repeat his comment to his dad. I stood where I was so that I could see my husband's expression when he heard what his son had to say. This is what I saw/heard:
"Dad! Guess what?", Jack exclaims as he rushes around the tomato end cap.
"A chicken butt!", Jordan quips. Jack shakes his head no, but grins at how insanely humorous he thinks his dad is(this will only last another few years if we are lucky, so Jord is capitalizing on it as much as possible).
"No, Dad! (giggles) I think it feels really good when I'm kind to everyone. I don't want to be a bucket tipper, I want to be a bucket filler."
Jordan bends down in bewilderment and asks "What are bucket tippers and fillers?". So our son explains. But as he is talking, an older biker-type gentleman who had been about to choose a tomato, glances over at the tableau of father and son and when he hears what is being said, he freezes in the act of putting the vegetable(fruit?) in his bag in order to listen and watch the moment unfold.
"A bucket tipper is someone who tips over people's buckets so that they are empty. A bucket filler is someone who puts things in the bucket so people always have something. I want to always be a bucket filler."
Jordan's head came up and he looked at me with a question in his eyes and I responded with a shake of my head and a shrug, indicating that I was at a loss as to where Jack had come up with such a profound thought. Jordan leaned down again and told Jack that he was an amazing boy to have taught his dad something wonderful by being such a good example to everyone around him. He followed this with:" I am so proud of you."
At this moment the tomato biker guy, juggling his tomato and plastic bag while wiping a tear from his eye, addressed Jordan by blurting out "Well, I'm proud of YOU! Thank you for taking the time to listen to your son, he had a powerful message to share. Good job, Dad.". Then he walked away. Probably to weep over the pineapple.
It's been more than 24 hours since this happened, and I've replayed this scene in my mind too many times to count. Every time that I do, I am filled with a feeling of bliss. We are making a difference in our children's lives. And what's more, is that they are making a profound difference in ours. In the time span of 30 seconds conversation, during a grocery shopping expedition, Jack gave us insight on how to see the world and the people around us. It's so beautifully simple. So easy a 6 year old can figure it out! Why were we worried about him again? Oh, yeah. Because it's our job.
