The following are things that Jack has said over the last few weeks that I've actually had the time to write down. There have been countless little gems that are lost for all time because I have the memory span of a nat these days and if there isn't a pen and paper nearby, I've forgotten it as soon as it is said. In fact, my memory is so bad that I actually put a notebook in my purse just so I can document these things the boys do/say... but the problem is that I keep forgetting that it's in there.
The last few days have been stormy and overcast, and on those days I inevitably get a mother bear of a headache. Yesterday Jack was helping me make some chocolate chip cookies when he saw me rubbing my temple while reading the recipe:
"What's wrong, Mama?"
"Oh, I just have a headache."
"Come 'ere. Let me see." (takes my face in his little hands and scrutinizes my forehead from inches away) "Oooh! THAT'S a good one! But... I think you're going to be okay."
"Thanks, doc."
During the month of October the happy meals at Mcdonald's were given out in small buckets to be used for trick or treating. I saved two of these buckets to be used for something far different. I put them in the cargo space of the car in case someone starts puking when we are out and about. It's a new car and Jack already christened it in September, at which time I was desperate for a small bucket- thus the travel chucket bucket was born. The other day I was getting groceries out of the back of the car and Jack saw the chucket buckets and wanted to take them inside to play with. I told him that those stay in the car and that he had other buckets, jars, bins, etc. in the house for entertainment. He started warming up for his "the world is ending" speech when I cut him off and told him to just go in the house. Now.
Between getting Henry out of his car seat, helping Mitch go potty and putting the groceries away I completely forgot about the bucket situation, so when Jack stood in front of me with his big brown eyes swimming with unshed tears, I was confused. I asked him what the matter was and he replied with his head held high and a good deal of lip quivering: "Here I am, Mama(sniff). With no bucket." Way to pull out all the stops with the poor, brave little orphan routine. I ALMOST caved, but I'm afraid my heart is hardened and calloused. Instead, I handed him his Halloween bucket that still had some candy in it as a diversionary tactic.
There is a restaurant in Bisbee called Jimmy's Hot Dog's that is SO FREAKIN' GOOD it's embarrassing. I made a fool of myself there last week when I couldn't stop myself from moaning and rolling my eyes with every bite of my fish & chips. I was so into it that Jack kept asking me what was wrong. He hasn't quite grasped the subtlety between pain and extreme joy for deep fried goodness(according to the child development charts that won't happen for at least 2 more years). While we were eating, the place started to fill up with the lunch crowd and since it's a small establishment to begin with it quickly became wall to wall people. With a name like Jimmy's Hot Dog's I feel they are targeting certain types of people, so within minutes we were surrounded by large groups of construction workers, geriatrics and based on the pamphlets they were carrying- Jehovah Witnesses. The geriatrics settled in at a table directly behind me and were in an excited state as they visited and waited for their processed meats. There was one particular woman who just couldn't sit still, she was flitting around the room chatting with and hugging her friends while going back and forth to the condiment table to stock up. At one point she was right behind me, and when I say this I mean that her behind was right on me. She stood with her backside firmly pressed against the back of my skull so that her every movement caused my head to shake like I was the one with Parkinson's. I was afraid to pull my chair away from her though since it felt as though I was her stability post for the moment. What if I pulled forward 2 inches and sent her toppling forward onto her friends? I closed my eyes at the horrors of at least 5 broken hips along with some good old fashioned bone fractures. The guy with the oxygen who needed 3 people to help him sit down might not even survive. So I sat as still as I could and waited for her to find her seat, hopefully somewhere on a chair. Just as I shift my eyes to meet Jordan's (who is looking at me like he doesn't know if he should cut the blue wire or the green), Jack pipes up in his best 5 year old outdoor voice and brings conversation all around us to a screeching halt. "Mom! There's a grandma behind you!" I know, buddy. Trust me. I know.
This morning as I filled up the back of the car to bursting with a million things to donate at St. Vincent's, Jack started throwing up while belted into his car seat. Since I had buried the afore mentioned chucket buckets underneath the donations, I was stuck with grabbing some old blankets off the top of the pile for him to use instead. Too bad my great ideas never work out. As I was wiping his poor little face he looked at me with the most tragic expression he has in his repertoire and said "Mom, I feel like a human sacrifice." Wow. That's pretty crappy, alright.
I'm sure if I sit here at the computer long enough, he will come up with something else brilliantly hilarious, but I have to go make a human sacrifice out of Mitch. He just dumped an entire bottle of Orange Glo out on the kitchen floor and ran through it so that there are a thousand little shiny footprints all over the house. It's like an ice rink in here and I'm tempted to just put socks on the kids for a good laugh. My luck is that I'm the one who will fall, though.
these made my day, thanks for sharing.
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