Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Henry and the Holidays

Christmas through the eyes of a child:

Mom and Dad have put a tree in the living room and covered it with shiny, sparkling things- but if you touch it, they yell at you.

Under the tree are brightly wrapped boxes with bows and curly ribbons that were meant to be pulled.  But you will get yelled at if you touch them.

There are lights hanging from the mantel, but if you pull on the cord- Mom and Dad scream your name and point aggressive fingers at you while saying "NO!"

There are all kinds of wonderful treats and cookies in the kitchen, but if you climb on the counters to sample... you will be scolded and physically removed.

If you pull on the pretty tablecloth with the red flowers on it, and all the dishes land on the floor; you will get yelled at and possibly a spanking.  Mommy will also cry.

If you try to put the red tree decorations in the fireplace, you will most definitely get yelled at.

If you dump out the powdered sugar on the floor, then lay down in it to make a sugar angel, you will get yelled at.  And a bath.

If you throw a pine cone in the toilet... Mommy will use her berserker voice, and while it's difficult to make out the words, it's pretty evident that it's you she is yelling at.

If you smear your Christmas cookie onto the window, Mom will say your name in a resigned martyred tone of voice, then throw away the rest of your cookie.

The train that goes around the bottom of the tree has wonderfully neat toys on it, but if you break one of them off to play with, you will get yelled at.  And you won't get to keep the toy.



For a one year old, there isn't a lot to look forward to with the holidays approaching.  In fact, it seems that if I were Henry's age, I'd boycott the whole thing too so I'm not really surprised that he's thumbing his cute button nose at the magic of Christmas.

As far as he's concerned, there are more spankings involved with Christmas than there is magic.  Hopefully he will discover the magic next year when we can blackmail him with the thought of Santa watching...

1 comment:

  1. You are a fantastic writer. I read this post and I wanted more so I started reading past posts and I just have to say they are delightful and entertaining.

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