The Haunting

Why is it so hard for children to leave something where they found it?  Especially when the item isn't theirs?  Seriously.  How hard can it be to not take my eye mask outside to the front porch?  Or to not put the meat syringe in the lego bin?  I'm not even sure how many times a day I reach for something that I just set down, only to realize that it is missing.  "Who took my _______????"  Basically you can fill in the blank with whatever you want, I would bet that I've yelled it.

Those of you without children can't really comprehend the tension of looking everywhere(sometimes for days) for your tweezers, only to find them in the dog food bag.  You put something down and you know it will be there when next you need that particular item.   If it's not there, you've got serious problems.  You are either being haunted, or else the creepy guy who stares at you at the bus stop has been breaking in to rifle through your underwear drawer.  Either option is unacceptable.  

Hmmmm.  Actually, now that I think about it... Parenthood is exactly like living in a haunted house with your stalker.  Things go missing all the time.  Writing appears all over the walls and no one knows how it got there.  Doors slam for no reason.  You can't go to the bathroom without a person trying to take a peek at you or take a shower without having someone make barking noises while throwing chocolate chips around the shower curtain.  At least with children you have a pretty good idea what happened to your sunglasses/fingernail clippers/pie knife, you just need to narrow it down to the correct individual.  And, while you are unable to get a restraining order to keep your belongings safe, you do have the divine right to send the suspect to time out.  You aren't legally allowed to to this with your friendly neighborhood pervert, so maybe having children is the better scenario.  At least you don't have to wonder if you are going crazy when see the 24 pack of toilet paper is rearranged into a pyramid in the hall closet.  You know for sure that you are going to go insane before they leave for college.  It's actually a good feeling to know that it isn't all in your head.