Note: The bed is REALLY high after you put it on risers. I know this because I fell out of bed last night for the second time since I put them in. Have you ever stepped off a curb or step that you weren't expecting? You know the feeling you get that makes your mouth go dry and drops your stomach into your knees to turn them to rubber all in the time it takes you to think "Oh sh*t"? Try that at two in the morning when you are half asleep, but literally rolling out of bed to go to the bathroom. I'm not used to the floor being so far away and by the time my body remembers, I'm crumpled in heap trying to figure out what happened. This is one of the times that I'm grateful that Jordan is such a sound sleeper, because I think that casual would be a little hard to pull off at this point. I'm hoping that I'll get used to it eventually and that my body will learn how to repel with my eyes closed.
Jack had a really hard day today. I feel for him, because I've been there, but I'm also jealous because he got to cry all day when he felt like it, but on my worst days I feel as though I have to try to be brave and hold it in. It might be healthier his way, however. I mean, he cries and moves on to the next thing that doesn't go his way, while I get upset, internalize it and add it and the next disappointment to the pile of things I'm still trying to process emotionally. I'll end up crying eventually, but by then I'm not really sure what it is that I'm crying over since I'm officially distraught and overwhelmed. Maybe we all would be less stressed and happier if everyone had mini tantrums as things happen, rather than holding onto them for a "more appropriate time". Or maybe I just want a get out jail free card if ever I do find myself rolling on the ground kicking and wailing with a snotty face because someone told me I had to get dressed. I think I'll play it by ear.
And the drama continues on the field. Today was our first scrimmage against another team and no fewer than four people cried, myself included. We were against five year olds, which normally wouldn't be such a difference, but these kids have been playing for YEARS, literally. They are two years ahead of my little three year olds, and our team had a very hard time dealing emotionally with other people taking the ball away from them. Darling Angelina was all lined up for a sweet goal, and someone helped her kick the ball into the net. Despair, grief, anguish- all crossed her little face because she didn't get do it herself, someone stole her moment and she ran off the field in tears to be consoled by mom. At least she was on the field. Jack spent the entire practice standing on the sidelines shaking with emotion and nonstop tears because I made him come to practice. To be fair, he also cried because we didn't drive in the Mater (Jordan's truck), because I dropped him at school, I picked him up from school, I drove him home and made him take a nap. The entire day was just too much for the guy, and he tapped out of participating in life right there and then. After practice we drove to the head coach's house so I could pick up our team's uniforms. I have five small people on my team, and they gave me four uniforms, no one else noticed the math thing didn't add up on this? I failed math (not going to say how many times), and I figured it out right away. Apparently, Angelina's uniform is missing and hopefully if we order it now, it'll be here in time for the first game. Bambo (yes, his name really is Bambo) also said that they never got a size for Jack. They didn't know what to order, so they ordered the largest small they had for him, which is two sizes too big. I wonder why I drove to the park in July and had Jack try on uniforms then if they weren't going to write it down. I also found out that one of the dates for a fundraiser that I have a major role in (this wasn't in the original job description), is on the day that I scheduled Jack's birthday party. I have seventeen kids under the age of three planning on being at my house the same time that I'm supposed to be at the park raising money for things I didn't know I need. People told me that I'd be great at this coaching thing, that I'd love it and have a blast. I don't feel like I'm doing all that great, but I do look forward to getting on the field, running and cheering with the kids, and I think that as the Warriors (we finally agreed on a name), we are certainly living up to our name. Against all odds, we are having fun.
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