Parenting Re-cap

The last few days I've been thinking about all the things that I've done in the last four years.  Things that I do now without blinking, but they would never have crossed my mind before I had little kids.  Some of these things are precious and joyful, while some of them will make your skin crawl.  Here are some of the highlights from the last few years.  Actually, now that I think about it, most of this stuff happened this week.

1. Finding 1/4 c. blue dyed macaroni in the toe of my shoe.
2. Having midnight discussions with a two year old about why now is not the appropriate time to play with every toy that beeps.
3. Replaying the same 47 second intro to RIO for an hour and a half just to keep the savages happy.
4. Having to scrape poop out from under my fingernails after a particularly bad diaper.
5. Having to wipe my face with my sleeve after kisses.
6. Vacuuming the house with a colander on my head for reasons that are only clear to the two year old.
7. Wishing vehemently for the batteries to run down in that psychotic toy.
8. Scrambling to find fresh batteries and a screwdriver while one child runs in place, screaming and the other child writhes on the floor.
9. Having to dig through the toy box whenever I need to baste meat or bake muffins.
10. Having skinny, little arms wrap around my neck for an unexpected hug.
11. Staying up all night just to make sure they are still breathing.
12. Singing the intro to the backyardigans for 50 miles.
13. Having my body adorned with Hot Wheels at five in the morning, while telling myself that this counts as quality time.
14. Being peed, puked and pooped on, all in one day.
15. Hearing "I love you, Mommy." whispered in the dark when I tuck them in at night.
16. Delivering a spanking while saying something ridiculous like "Stop hitting your brother!".
17. Knowing each of the Wiggles names and what they did before making it big.
18. Wondering why I replaced the batteries in that psychotic toy.
19. Having chocolate chips thrown at me in the shower by a barking two year old.
20. Going to the store in 90 degree heat with a child wearing a cable knit sweater, shorts, rain boots and a fireman's hat while carrying a skull.
21. Taking a live cockroach out of the baby's mouth.
22. Smelling the wall to see if it's chocolate or poop.
23. Finding out it's poop.
24. Taking the phone away from the 3 year old, only to find that he's called my insurance company and changed my plan.
25. Getting nervous when it's quiet.

Speaking of which, I don't hear anything...