Interrogation Techniques

Here's a question.  How do you successfully interrogate a four year old?  By successfully, I mean without losing your mind.  Is there a manual?  Is it written in English?  Can I find it on Amazon?  I'm getting somewhat desperate, in case that slipped your notice.  I can't ask Jack the smallest question with out it going completely south in a big, fat hurry.  He is unable to grasp the concept of a straight answer, and he quite literally boggles my mind in mere moments.  Example:

Me:  "Jack. Where is the tv remote?" 

Jack: "Yes."

Me:  "Hmmm.  Can you look for the remote with me?"

Jack:  "Ice cream in the soccer ball."

Me:  pause. "Ice cream in the soccer ball?"

Jack:  "Uh-huh."

Me:   "Okay, but that doesn't tell me where the remote is."

Jack:  "Shoes on, donuts for lunch."

Me:  "Here's the deal.  I will gladly give you donuts for lunch if you will focus for 10 seconds. Would you like that? Chocolate donuts with sprinkles and chocolate milk on the side. Does that sound good?"

Jack:  nodding his head; eyes glowing with the dream of sprinkles and chocolate "Donuts...."

Me:  "Now. Do you know where the remote is for the tv?  Take your time."

Jack:  runs from the room and comes back with a Transformer "Miss Twine, Mommy." 

Me:   sigh.  "Yep.  That's Optimus Prime, alright. Where's the remote?"
Jack: hands me Optimus "Truck form?"
Me: groaning with frustration; taking Optimus to change him into a truck for the 80th time today "Where. Is. The. Remote. Jack?"

Jack: "Donuts for lunch?"

Me: pause. sigh. resignation. "Yeah, buddy.  Let's go get a donut."

See what I mean?  I can't seem to stay motivated on the task at hand when the person I'm talking to has never been in a real conversation.  I wind up following his line of thought instead of throwing myself against his brick wall of unreason.  It's a defense mechanism, I think.  However, I need to come up with a less fattening defense strategy.  Soon.