Learning Process

Everyday is an education for me, I'm learning new things all the time.  For instance, last night I learned that I am incapable of controlling the noises I make when I'm stalking a bug.  I also learned that Jordan is incapable of controlling his laughter as he listens to me stalk a bug.  The big jerk laid in bed and laughed his fool head off while I killed a spider in the bathroom last night.  It's a good thing he wasn't awake a few nights before when I had to chase and kill a cockroach.  It was late at night (when did 9:00 p.m. become late at night, anyway?) and I was reading, when a monstrously huge cockroach ran out from under the couch and across the room into the shadows.  By the time I found my weapon of choice (a shoe), I'd lost track of it and had to go hunting under furniture.  When I finally found the hideous thing after a fraught few minutes, I jumped and squealed because I caught sight of him in the corner looking at me like he had been watching my adrenalin crazed search and found me no match for his superiority.  Super creepy and very intimidating.  We had ourselves an old fashioned Mexican standoff just like at the end of The Good, Bad and the Ugly (he was the bad and ugly) and I expected the room to start spinning and theme music to begin, but he flinched and set off my natural killer instincts (stop laughing Jordan), so I attacked.  Unfortunately he was devilishly quick and I missed the first seven times I aimed but just as in the movie, good perseveres and I eventually squished the little monster.  The part that separates me from the stone cold killers was the fact that the entire time I was chasing down my enemy, I was continuously yelping like a small dog that's been stepped on.  I remembered thinking: "I sound just like Grandpa's poodles", but could I stop?  I could not.  I also had the thought to tone it down a bit so that I wouldn't wake Jordan up, but even the thought of him mocking me couldn't keep the animal noises in check.  I'm not sure why I was worried about waking Jordan though.  He went to Iraq while he was in the Army and doesn't say much about what went on there, he says it's because he doesn't like to talk about it.  I suspect he slept through most of it and doesn't want to fess up.  I was right outside the bedroom door scrambling around on my hands and knees, slamming a sneaker repeatedly onto the hardwood floor, barking like a madwoman and he didn't stir?  That's not right.  Convenient, but not right.  For now I'm grateful he's a sound sleeper because I only yelped once when killing the spider last night and he laughed so hard he had a coughing fit, can you imagine his hilarity over the cockroach?  I can, and it's not flattering for either of us.  It's probably better for our marriage that he's unconscious through the humiliating parts of my life and only hears of them secondhand.  Then again, he's got a really great laugh.